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Originally Posted by Siege
Speaking as a guy who isn't taken, i'd have to say that that's not necessarily true. I get hugged by lots of my female friends. I guess it helps that i'm just a great guy 
Or they think it's ok because they think i'm gay or taken when i'm neither. |
Or because they think you should only ever be friends. Or they are all taken. Or they all want in your pants. In that case, what are you waiting for?
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Originally Posted by match000
So... I don't get it ladies. You say you can be 'yourself' and 100% be friends with men who are taken. You don't feel as 'safe' with single men.
Then how the heck are single men supposed to just be friends with women? It seems almost as if women arent interested in being friends with single men, cuz you can't 'let loose' and talk about 'anything'...
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Because straight guys who become friends with girls tend to veer towards wanting relationships, it's only natural. And this is what the girls have experienced in the past. You hang out with someone because you like the qualities they have. If they're of the opposite sex, you start to relate these qualities with ones you would like to have in a lover. I'd say that most girls only want to become friends with single guys if they're interested in them. Or they're already friends with you because you are longstanding childhood friends. It's just much less of a hassle for them to not be on guard all the time with people that they could never see having a relationship with. Of course, this does lead to the fact that they are not open minded, or not willing to put any effort into starting relationships, or they let a guy's "confidence" hide his undesirable traits. This is a very bad situation...maybe if more girls took a proactive approach in this respect we'd see a lot less of them being emotionally shattered by jerks.
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Originally Posted by doncalypso
Maybe if women stopped going after taken men that would help towards reducing the incidence of infidelity in marriage and relationships.
Women need to understand that just because a guy is single doesn't mean there's something wrong with him, and they need to understand that if a man is already in a relaitonship that he's off-limits.
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THAT, is the best solution to this whole problem. I think we as men should start being more laid back and cool, doing what we want and being ourselves (remembering that balance is a key part of life!), but remembering that it's always fun to try new things. This seems to be the only way we can start relationships out on the right foot. Eventually the balance would shift and the girls would be the ones on the prowl, since every 5 seconds they weren't being hit on. When's the last time you saw a confident girl, start pursuing a reserved quiet guy because he's cute and mysterious? We are all products of our environment.
Of course, perhaps the solution is for us all to just act ourselves all the time. But this cannot work because not everyone will give in, there will always be those trying to manipulate the situation. All's fair in love and war I suppose.