Quote:
Originally Posted by Fob_Magi
the worst possible conclusion I can think of is that SHE ends up alone, without a mate, without children, without a job worthy of her education, without money...what if I ruin HER life?
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I hate to sound macabre, but if that is the basis for maintaining the relationship, then perhaps you two should seek counseling. I mean, it's a rather arrogant and/or selfish notion. Loneliness or the possibility of it and/or the idea that you could ruin a person's life by ending a relationship sounds fatalistic and one-dimensional. I don't think either you or your wife is so pathetic that without each other your lives will result in disaster. It might sound romantic to you, but it sounds hopeless to me. Besides, you are not your uncle and she is not her aunt; it is not as if their lives are vicariously manifested through yours. Anyway, I do not wish to sound like a hallmark card, but marriage (especially) should be based on compromise, communication, trust, and love, not loneliness or the thought that you can ruin someone's life. Talk to your wife and make sure you're as brutally honest with her as you are with us…and please stop with the "I will never do this or never do that." Like Muhammad Ali once said, "If you arrive at 50 with the same thoughts you had at 25, then you have wasted half of your life." Moreover, remember that we are the author's of our lives; our future is not pre-determined by the mistakes of others, but rather by the choices we make. Surely, no one consciously wants to make a mistake, but only people who do nothing makes no mistakes. You have to live and make mistakes; mistakes are messages, and the biggest mistake that you can make is to constantly fear that you will make one.