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Originally Posted by maleficent
Just remember the grass isn't always greener...
you take yourself with you in any relationship...
The problem doesn't sound like it's with your wife, as a couple,, but within yourselves, as individuals... and that's what you need to fix first... before you can fix your relationship, if indeed you want to fix it. Have the two of you sat down and had a real talk - -no holds barred about how each of you feels - not accusing each other of things - not blaming - but an honest to god discussion of feelings...
You need to figure out what you want... and what you are willing to do to get it and she has to do the same thing.
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You beat me to it!
To put it my own way... It doesn't matter
what you do or don't do about your marriage. You will always have these issues until you deal with what lies at the root of the problems you are facing:
Your lack of self-esteem.
There is nothing... and I mean nothing... that you can not handle in your marriage if you deal with the issues inside yourself that are making you miserable. Your craving for other women has nothing to do with resentment toward your wife for "making" you get married... She didn't make you, you chose to give in to her ultimatum and get married. If she played on one of your issues to get you to do so, and you allowed yourself to be manipulated because you were afraid, it was still
your choice to get married.
Get counselling. For yourself
and for your marriage, but for yourself first of all. You won't ever know if your marriage is right for you if you don't know who YOU are. Only she can decide that for herself, but whatever her decision is, you'll never regret getting your own issues taken care of.