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Originally Posted by SecretMethod70
This (the first part) is actually something I definitely disagree with. The second part is the key to this disagreement. Hard work and communication is absolutely necessary for long term relationships. It is a lack of that which leads to the feeling that one is "missing" something. I am in a relationship of a little over 6 years with onodrim and I am the only person she has ever dated, yet she has no feelings of having missed out on anything. The reason for this is because we have good communication and she is quite happy with me, and I am also happy with her. It is when unhappines with the relationship rears it's head that this feeling of having "missed out" is most likely to come up.
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Yeah, I was going to say that I disagreed with that part, too; SM makes some excellent points in his post. I think the "missed out" feeling only comes from other issues in a relationship, not from a lack of sleeping around when you had the chance.
Personally, I've technically only slept with two people, and I only remember one (yeah), and that's my current bf of nearly two years. He's only slept with one person, and that's me. I had dated a few people before him, but never went far physically (I was an evangelical, back in the day), and he hadn't really dated anyone before. We were both in our mid-20s when we got together (pretty late in the game), but we were friends first, established a trust and got to know each other (much like Blizzak, it seems). I think the experience of being older also took away a lot of the temptation and drama of "sleeping around."
But then again, we both know some people who sleep around a lot, and we have no problem with them (as long as they are being safe, and not harming themselves psychologically, which does happen). If he and I ever get to the point of wanting to have sex with other people, well, we're gonna talk about it and decide what would be best for the relationship. But that's the whole communication thing that SM talked about. If you haven't got that, you haven't got anything, no matter how many or few people you have been with.
Btw, Bryndian... I really appreciated your story. Thank you for posting.
