I finally booked my flight! Thankfully, I had enough frequent flyer miles to do the job. I'll be arriving at O'Hare on Thursday 3/16 at 10am and leaving on Monday 3/20 at 5:30pm.
Yellowchef, I much appreciate the share offer. It's pretty likely that I'll take you up on it because I hear the hotels are pretty full that weekend, but I do still have to wait on my roommate's efforts because she's already done a lot of asking around for me. In the event that I do get a room, I'll gladly take our friend Carno off your hands.
(I'd have an extra bed anyway.)