How to Lie on Your Resume
We’re not talking tweaking, we’re talking overhauling—and getting away with it.
Maxim, Jun 1998
By Roy Furchgott
Were you ever beaten out of a job because a competitor padded his résumé? Let's go to the stats: In a poll of 150 hiring executives at large companies, the execs estimated that nearly 30 percent of all job candidates fudge on their résumés. It's actually worse than that, says Patricia Gillette, a San Francisco lawyer who has investigated hundreds of résumés while defending companies against former employees. "Probably 90 percent of the time, people lie on their résumé," she says. We figure that means 60 percent of the job force lies and gets away with it. Now, we wouldn't suggest you even the odds by joining the ranks of résumé cheats yourself. There are names for people who do that: Devious. Underhanded. Dishonest. Employed. Here's how they do it.
Gauging Your Prey
Even a lousy liar might be able to pull a fast one on a tiny company. But more and more large companies are using professional pre-employment checkers, such as Research Associates, Inc., in Cleveland. RAI exposed 17 percent of the 13,000 job applicants it screened last year, finding that they had lied about college degrees, credit problems, criminal records, or why they left their last jobs. Smoke out the employers that use checkers by saying, "I'd like to tell my references who will be calling. Will you call, or will you use a service?" If it's a service, liars throttle back. If not, it's full speed ahead.
Customizing Your Experience
Ninety-two percent of all employers contact potential employees' former supervisors, according to a recent survey by the Society for Human Resource Management. So, suppose the position you're applying for requires experience in management—and not just of your golden retriever. Some résumé cheats create false references that are difficult to check. Jim Petersen, the Cleveland-based publisher and author of How to Lie on Your Resume—and Get the Great Job You Want! (Ariza Research Press, 1998), found a way to do this when a computer company he worked for went belly up. "About a half-dozen of us stood around the parking lot and agreed to act as supervisors to give references for each other," he recalls. Petersen always gave a fellow conspirator a ring before a recruiter was going to call, to make sure they had their story straight ("Jim was a model manager—although he tends to put in too many hours…").
Plastering Over the Holes
Say you spent two years "trying to find yourself" (in other words, boogie boarding in Sumatra): Petersen says you can mend the gap by claiming to have worked for a small company that is out of business, or for a now shuttered division of an existing firm. Or, he suggests, look in business and trade magazines for obits of executives, one of whom you can claim to have had as a boss. If your employment gap is only about six months, resist the urge to tack three months onto the end of the previous job and three onto the beginning of the next, because past employers gladly dole out exact years, months, and days of employment. Rather, the best cheaters concoct a good lie. "If you take time out for family reasons, most companies are understanding," says Nancy Morgan, a résumé writer in Coral Gables, Florida, who in no way advocates lying. So you can tell potential employers, "I left work for six months in 1996—family reasons. My grandfather, God bless his soul." They'll back off.
The Mail-Drop Maneuver
Petersen has also schooled people in ways to create nearly uncheckable references from large multinational companies. Create a mail drop—such as a rental box at a Postman Plus—that accepts mail addressed to behemoth organizations. "AT&T is my favorite; it's large, decentralized, and hard to track down," Petersen says. A cheat gives a recruiter the mail drop and the name and number of a fictitious supervisor. If the recruiter calls the given reference, a "secretary" he's set up (a friend who has a good poker voice) says the company's policy is to respond by letter only. Mail sent to the fictitious supervisor is forwarded to the cheater, who then writes his own recommendation. "People believe paper documentation," says Petersen. He's no bullshitter. The Society for Human Resource Management study found that only 30 percent of all people hiring verify the authenticity of references in letters provided by candidates.
TRICKING OUT YOUR RESUME
How to juice up your job descriptions so well, you'd hire you.
The key to making a junk job look like a jewel, say the experts, is in focusing not on what you did but on the skills the job required and the experience you gained. Herewith, some examples of menial tasks, the acceptable spins (actually recommended by professional résumé writers), and the very nearly fictional versions. Go with the third if you have the nads.
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