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To me, being "in love" is more or less about obsession and infatuation. Loving someone is just that -- loving them. You can't sustain being "in love" over the long haul -- at least, not continuously -- but you can love somebody forever.
Sure, you can love people you'd never marry. But I don't think that the long-term love you feel for the one you partner with is a especial or different kinds of love -- at least not to start. Love is just one of the components of a long-term relationship: so are emotional compatibility, compatibility of values, compatibility of tastes, and so on. When you find someone like that _who you love or begin to love,_ you've got the basis for a life together. And a love that will grow deeper and more complex as the two of you share experiences and each other.
But to start with, it's all just love. It's just that loving the old guy down the street who taught you to play baseball isn't going to lead to the same place as loving a young woman who is in the same place in life as you and has many of the same goals as you.
Being "in love" is just dessert to all that. And of course, early on in life when the hormones rage, it's actually hard to actually love someone of the opposite sex because you are so obsessed by being _in_ love. You love the fantasy, not the person.
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