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Originally Posted by amonkie
My perspective - "In LOVE" comes across to me as more an infatuation - which is ok
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Although I save the L-word for special occasions, there is a huge difference between L*** and the initial crush/infatuation/limerent period of many relationships.
Here's some info I've been reading up on: http://www.isi.edu/gost/brian/elbows/limerence.html
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This message consists of excerpts from Dorothy Tennov's book Love and Limerence (Stein and Day, 1979).
Tennov was a professor of psychology at the University of Bridgeport, Connecticut. (She's now retired.) Circa 1977 she coined the noun ``limerence'' and the adjective ``limerent'' to describe a particular state of mind.
Limerence is what is sometimes referred to as ``being in love'' with someone, as opposed to ``loving'' someone. Or sometimes it's called ``romantic love'' or ``passionate love.''
Limerence is also sometimes called ``infatuation.'' But ``infatuation'' has implications of immaturity, and of extrapolating from insufficient information, that Tennov didn't want.
Symptoms of Limerence
``Limerence has certain basic components:
``intrusive thinking about the object of your passionate desire (the limerent object or `LO'), who is a possible sexual partner
``acute longing for reciprocation
``dependency of mood on LO's actions or, more accurately, your interpretation of LO's actions with respect to the probability of reciprocation
``inability to react limerently to more than one person at a time (exceptions occur when limerence is at low ebb -- early on or in the last fading)
``some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerent passion through vivid imagination of action by LO that means reciprocation
``fear of rejection and sometimes incapacitating but always unsettling shyness in LO's presence, especially in the beginning and whenever uncertainty strikes
``intensification through adversity (at least, up to a point)
``acute sensitivity to any act or thought or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and extraordinary ability to devise or invent ``reasonable'' explanations for why the neutrality that the disinterested observer might see is in fact a sign of hidden passion in the LO
``an aching of the `heart' (a region in the center front of the chest) when uncertainty is strong
``buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation seems evident
``a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background
``a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in LO and to avoid dwelling on the negative, even to respond with a compassion for the negative and render it, emotionally if not perceptually, into another positive attribute.''
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__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."
Roger Zelazny
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