Quote:
|
Originally Posted by shesus
From my experience, I find that the people who sleep aroundor 'mess' around a lot have issues that are present that lead to the messing around. I'm not sure that messing around causes the issues, although it will have effects on the person. However, it is different for everyone because people define life, love, and happiness differently. I can offer a story with examples, but it's only one person and what I observed.
My cousin is one of those people that sleep around. So much in fact that she couldn't remember all her sexual partners at the age of 16. She is a very bitter, unhappy person. She is now trapped in a marriage with 4 kids, but still having affairs I'm sure. I know that she cheated a few times on her first husband and cheated a couple times on her second husband. She looks for sex to fill a void in her life, but it only leads to more hollowness.
That paints the picture that sleeping around is bad. I don't think it is...I think that it's what the person makes of it. Eh, there's no answer to this...it's a moral decision. To each his own, choose you choice, and play safe.  |
I generally agree with this. Sleeping around, in and of itself, is not a bad or a good thing. It just is. However, the large majority of people who I know that fall under the category of having "been around the block" a few times are people who have significant issues. I would assert that it is the issues that cause the sleeping around and not the other way around. I say this particularly because there is most certainly a significant minority of people who sleep around quite a bit and do not have serious issues.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Jack1.0
I believe that either extreme is potentially destructive. On one extreme you have a person who sleeps with anyone they can lay their hand on, while on the other extreme you have someone who has slept with only on person. As noted by Shesus, the first extreme quite possibly is behavior that is hiding an unfulfilled need in the person’s life. The second extreme can lead to problems later in a relationship as the inexperience partner begins to grow and may start to wonder if there is something out there that they “Missed.” Neither of these outcomes is for certain. Human beings are incredibly different from each other, and we all have different strengths.
The only thing that I can really say for certain is that long term relationships take a lot of work and that pain is part of that.
|
This (the first part) is actually something I definitely disagree with. The second part is the key to this disagreement. Hard work and communication is absolutely necessary for long term relationships. It is a lack of that which leads to the feeling that one is "missing" something. I am in a relationship of a little over 6 years with onodrim and I am the only person she has ever dated, yet she has no feelings of having missed out on anything. The reason for this is because we have good communication and she is quite happy with me, and I am also happy with her. It is when unhappines with the relationship rears it's head that this feeling of having "missed out" is most likely to come up.