I have a lot of experiance with bi women and there are several kinds.
#1 Bi-curious: These are girls who may have thought about other girls, but are too shy to initate it on their own. They will often recieve sex from a female but not return the favor.
#2 Socially bi: They will be bi with the 'right' woman, aka a close friend. They don't go looking for women to have sex with.
#3 True Bi: man, woman, they don't care, they just want sex and how they approach that will be personality driven, though they do seem 'faster' with women.
#4 Bi-furious: These are basically married lesbians. They are very aggressive with each other and the mans just sorta there.
I sort of wonder if part of this aggresiveness you speak of is due to the nature of a homosexual realtionship vrs a heterosexual one. A heterosexual relationship has a lot more 'issues' than a homosexual one so you would go slower than with a homosexual relationship.
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