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leftyderek · 03-01-2006, 11:37 PM

... or maybe you remember my lefty thread a few months ago. In the last few months I have gone through some big downs of my life, some realization, some self exploration and a lot of confusion. Anyway I will try to post more- alright, alright- the main content now- I wrote that a while ago, I don't really know if it should go to paranoia or living or even literature:

Sometimes I wonder how it is like to be Edward(*1). He has been trapped in the castle for ages. He saw his own dreams breaking right in front of him. He tried to hold onto it but his stupid scissorhands shattered it. Then he was brought away from the castle, to know what the word 'warmth' means. Seeing sprinklers, children playing, every single thing for the first time. The first time. Everything is just so exciting and interesting. I would like to erase all my non-vital/essential memories. I would like to erase even more than Joel and Clem(*2) did. Not only a specific person.

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Just to feel them all for the first time. Just to have the feeling of every fucking thing is so amazing. Even the things that hurts. Even the feeling of making a mistake for the first time. Take away my memory of love, my memory of sex, my memory of being loved, my memory of my friends, and whatever else if you wish. You can even take away the feeling of my first performance on stage, my last performance in Flekke(*3), my first play, whatever. Now think. Remember how it felt the first time you kiss somone? Remember how it felt the first time you thought you love someone? Remember how it felt the first time you knew you love someone? Remember how it felt the first time you had sex? Remember how it felt the first time you thought somone loves you? Remember how it felt the first time you knew someone loves you? Remember the first day of school? Remember the first piece of chicken you had? Remember the first sip of alcohol you serectly had? Remember the first sip you legally had? Remember your first scar on your body? Even a scar makes you amazed. Remember that? Look for it if you don't. Remember the first time you felt wind touching your skin? Remember? Remember. Try. Try to bring that feeling back, when everything was new and fresh. When you are not sick of anything around you, and when nothing around you is sick of you. Close your eyes and think about every single first-time you ever had.

I believe it is one of the reasons why kids are so happy. Meeting or learning about new things is always exicting, no?

How about doing things for the last time then?

p.s. s/he who gets where *1 and *2 come from gets a cookie.

*'s:
<spoiler>*1: 'Edward Scissorhands'
*2: come on, 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'- Charlie Kaufman successfully made it into mainstream... everyone has to know him.
*3: A place where I had a 2-year-long dream. PM me for more.</spoiler>

03-01-2006, 11:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
leftyderek Crazy Location: Currently Canada. I have been in Norway in the last two years, and in Hong Kong before Norway.	Maybe you don't care... ... or maybe you remember my lefty thread a few months ago. In the last few months I have gone through some big downs of my life, some realization, some self exploration and a lot of confusion. Anyway I will try to post more- alright, alright- the main content now- I wrote that a while ago, I don't really know if it should go to paranoia or living or even literature: Sometimes I wonder how it is like to be Edward(1). He has been trapped in the castle for ages. He saw his own dreams breaking right in front of him. He tried to hold onto it but his stupid scissorhands shattered it. Then he was brought away from the castle, to know what the word 'warmth' means. Seeing sprinklers, children playing, every single thing for the first time. The first time. Everything is just so exciting and interesting. I would like to erase all my non-vital/essential memories. I would like to erase even more than Joel and Clem(2) did. Not only a specific person. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Just to feel them all for the first time. Just to have the feeling of every fucking thing is so amazing. Even the things that hurts. Even the feeling of making a mistake for the first time. Take away my memory of love, my memory of sex, my memory of being loved, my memory of my friends, and whatever else if you wish. You can even take away the feeling of my first performance on stage, my last performance in Flekke(3), my first play, whatever. Now think. Remember how it felt the first time you kiss somone? Remember how it felt the first time you thought you love someone? Remember how it felt the first time you knew you love someone? Remember how it felt the first time you had sex? Remember how it felt the first time you thought somone loves you? Remember how it felt the first time you knew someone loves you? Remember the first day of school? Remember the first piece of chicken you had? Remember the first sip of alcohol you serectly had? Remember the first sip you legally had? Remember your first scar on your body? Even a scar makes you amazed. Remember that? Look for it if you don't. Remember the first time you felt wind touching your skin? Remember? Remember. Try. Try to bring that feeling back, when everything was new and fresh. When you are not sick of anything around you, and when nothing around you is sick of you. Close your eyes and think about every single first-time you ever had. I believe it is one of the reasons why kids are so happy. Meeting or learning about new things is always exicting, no? How about doing things for the last time then? p.s. s/he who gets where 1 and 2 come from gets a cookie. 's: <spoiler>1: 'Edward Scissorhands' 2: come on, 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'- Charlie Kaufman successfully made it into mainstream... everyone has to know him. 3: A place where I had a 2-year-long dream. PM me for more.</spoiler> __________________ -Imagine how beautiful the world would be if we could only do things for the first-and-last time. Imagine this is the last time you would ever be able to imagine. Imagine that. -Die Lust der Zerstörung ist gleichzeitig eine schaffende Lust. -...and god said Lx1,go!* and there was light...