I really don't want to steal this thread from a dicussion about your drive-through experience, but its a thing I've been wanting to mention in all of these threads.
As people above have said, you're an incredibly intelligent person (and a good writer, too) but you really have a confidence issue. Its the very same issue I see in so many people, and --imagine this-- they all say they're working on it, but not making much progress.
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You're right. I lack self-confidence in certain situations. I'm working on it, but not making much progress so far.
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My best advice that I've ever given to someone regarding a confidence issue was that they were classifying it wrong. Most things in life are stepA to stepB to stepC to completion. In this way, as long as you're working on A, and then B, and then C, you'll eventually get there. Confidence is not this way. If you know anything about state machines, you just start in state C. "What, just CHOOSE to be confident? Yea right." That's PRECISELY what I'm proposing. Confidence is not an A->B->C sorta thing. It's a
C sorta thing. By being C, A and B (the preconditions) are automatically met. So, today.. tell yourself you're confident. You are. Tell yourself you're confident. You are. It's not a process of "gaining" confidence. It's a process of BEING confident and acting accordingly. Stop dilly-dallying
And before you sputter and tell me that it's just not possible, this is coming from someone who, less than 2 years ago, had no confidence. None. I did everything wrong, I was ugly and stupid. You won't hear any of those words come out of my mouth today. One day, I just said; GOD DAMNIT I WANT TO BE CONFIDENT. And I was. And I lived from that day on. You gotta want to be confident NOW, not later.
Yea, so I don't know how you'll take this, but I don't mean to offend. I felt like it merited being saying and I hope that somehow, someday, you'll look back and realize I'm right.