The reason we 'ignore' those commands is because we believe that they were delivered to a specific people at a specific point in time, when it was first of all more necessary to get rid of this sort of thing and second more in line with society's beliefs as a whole. Now, you might think this is just rationalization for something we don't want to do (and I suspect you do), but it seems to me it's an important point that we're not just ignoring things like this, we have reasons for doing so.
You'll probably say that, then, why do we follow other parts of scripture, all of which in some sense is directed towards a specific people at a specific time? My general rule, and one I think a lot of thinking Christians tend to work with, is this: We are justified in disregarding a specific command in scripture if and only if (1) we have a prima facie case for believing that it doesn't apply to us today and (2) we can discern and follow a general principle behind the specific command. In the case of the command you cite, I would say that the prima facie case is clear; few of us believe it's okay to kill unbelievers, merely because they're unbelievers. So what's the general principle? It's that we should avoid spending time with people if that time is going to end up leading us away from God. Not that we should avoid spending time with unbelievers, but that if the time we're spending with them is drawing us away from the faith, we need to cut down on that time.
Of course, you didn't respond to any of my substantive point above...
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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."
"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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