Quote:
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Originally Posted by ryfo
'you decide' is strongly disliked too
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Grace and I used to have a dueling "you decide" conversation about where to go or what to do at the beginning of our relationship, something like this:
Grace: Where would you like to go for dinner?
Gilda: Anywhere is fine with me.
Grace: Is there some place in particular you'd like to go?
Gilda: Where do you want to go?
Grace: The Roadhouse is good for me.
Gilda: Ok, let's go there.
Grace: Are you sure? We can go whereever you want to go.
Gilda: I want to go wherever would make you happy.
Grace: I don't want to go anyplace you're not going to like.
Gilda: I said the Roadhouse is ok with me.
Grace: But do you
want to go there.
Gilda: I
want to do whatever is going to make you happy.
Grace: What would make me happy is going someplace we would both enjoy.
Gilda: I'll enjoy whatever place you choose. I already said the Roadhouse is fine.
Grace: Yes, but you didn't sound very enthusiastic about it. Are you sure that's where you want to go?
Gilda: I want to go whereever . . .
Grace: I know, I get that. Where do you want to go? It's ok for you to have an opinion. I won't be upset.
Gilda: I want to go to the Roadhouse.
Grace: Would that be your first choice?
Gilda: Yes. You want to go there, so that's where I want to go.
Grace: No, I mean, if you had to decide where to go to eat by yourself, where would it be?
Gilda: I don't eat out by myself.
Grace: It's a hypothetical. Pretend you're with a date who doesn't know her way around and wants you to choose. Where would you want to go?
Gilda: The Outback.
Grace: Why didn't you say that in the first place?
Gilda: Because it would make me happier to go where you would be happy going than to go to where I want to go.
Grace: I want a place where we'd both enjoy ourselves.
Gilda: I already agreed to the Roadhouse.
Grace: That was just a suggestion. You can have your own opinion and it won't bother me.
Continue for another couple of minutes before we end up going to the Roadhouse, her irritated at me for not having an opinion, even though I'd quite clearly expressed one.
This is one of the small drawbacks of being with another woman. All of the guys I've dated would have been happy with my agreeing to their first choice.
Fortunately, we don't have this any more. When I'm in passive mode, which is most of the time, she just decides and we're both happy. It's a much better system.
Gilda