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I was born and raised Lutheran. I never even had a second thought about it until I was essentially an adult. Once I did put it under the microscope, I found that there was no logic behind it. It pained me to realize that, but it was for me to realize. My faith was hindered by knowledge, pure and simple. It still pains me to this day, but I can't simply throw my understandign to the wind for the promise of salvation from sin. Did Jesus die on the cross? Yep. Was Jesus the son of God? I don't know. The only proof is a very old and questionble text filled with great moral lessons.
That being said, I don't know how to feel about other christians. As someone who had no problems living with the various paradox and contradiction of christianity for two decades, I can certinally relate. I understand the feeling of community and connection that comes from the faith (not christianity pecifically but any faith). I also understand the comfort from believing in something as big and wonderful as God. The thought that there is in fact a true, perfect mind ruling over all of existence can really bring a sense of order to life. Having faith can be an excelent way to live your life, and I do not consider a life dedicated to God to be a wasted life, so long as one understands the teachings of their religion (as opposed to doing selish and greedy things in the name of God).
On the other hand, I have to wonder why more christians don't question their faith more. When you apply christianity, for example, to science, many things don't add up. So we are asked to have faith about them. The problem is that having faith in something is giving it your trust, and trust is earned. Should I simply trust God? I don't see how I could. I no longer see the rationale behind assuming that Jesus walked on water. How? Was the surface tension changed somehow? Was Jesus more boyant than the average human? Doubtful. More likely Jesus was a great man who was an excelent teacher for people who needed a path in life.
I had a battle in my mind between the young, imaginative, faithful child, and the scrutinizing, rationalizing, unfaithful adult. In the case of religion, the child is losing.
That being said, I do catch myself lashing out at christians from time to time. I say catch because I don't do it with the intention to offend or disrespect. In fact I respect a great many christians. So why do I occasioanlly lash out? It could be that I'm bitter over losing my religous innocense. It could be that I'm mad I didn't figure it out sooner. It could also be that I'm angry that I and so mnany others are probably being decieved.
I'm espically angry that people still choose to use religion as a tool or weapon to the detriment of other people. This is where a great deal of my religionism(?) comes from. Whenever I see Pat Robertson or Dr. James Dobson or other televangilists and listen carefully to their message, it seems like the focus is not on the foundation of the scripture - to love thy neighbor, to treat others with respect, to give to the needy, and the other wonderful lessons - but they insist on spreading dogma and fear so that those that follow them will follow blindly. Religous leaders shouldn't be involved in politics. In fact, there probably shouldn't be religous leaders at all.
If I have ever offended you, the reader, about anything, post back and let me know. If I am offended, I always shoot back and let someone know. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it, apologize and move on. This forum is about communication, and the only way to communicate on TFP is to post. Without the continued communication, this place loses all it's value.
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