msh58

he had notebooks for everything
dozen or so of them
one for each field of life
or aspect of his life
that he hoped to improve upon

would come home
at the end of the day
and add to them
kind of a way
of building
little by little
into a better person
or if not
just adding something
each day
to better life

hoped the progress
he'd finally made
couldn't be taken away
by those days he had to spend in bed
covers pulled over the head
darkness preferred
when the light
from the day
came streaming through the blinds
just bringing pain.

two steps forward, one backward.
hoped he'd finally eliminated the backward one

not going forward
doesn't mean
a backward step
he hoped

got out of bed at sunset that day
finally could open the blinds
seagulls filled the sky
were all soaring in the same direction
as if from a threat
their cries filled the air.

looked to where they were coming from
dark skies
blood and death
were waiting
like a raven in the sky
in that direction

and they came
the ravens

he greeted it calmly when they came for him
but felt those regrets
if he only were able
to take more steps forward
what would have life looked like
before it ended