I have to say that when I loved someone and was with them, I always felt "in love" to some degree at the same time. There is always some wearing off of that rosy phase at the start of a relationship, but I always felt that somehow it was still there, maybe to a lesser degree because I could actually think straight and say intelligent things again! I don't think they should be separate if you can help it - if this is a romantic partner we're talking about. Once it's separate, then you're just "working at it" for whatever's sake and that just doesn't sound like any fun.
I agree with what shesus says:
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I wouldn't say you're not 'in love', you've just moved to the next stage of the relationship.
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__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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