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While the circumstances surrounding this aren't humorous, the contract itself, is. Under the right conditions, I think my wife would go along with 80-90% of this (while she can negotiate icy hills and stairs in ski boots, my wife has never managed to figure out heels).
If I whipped out a contract like this, it would be the last thing I'd be whipping out for some time. If she didn't die of laughing on her way out the door, I'd be having John Bobbitt nightmares for a month.
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