Sweetpea

Firstly, this is an interesting thread and discussion and everyone has really added a lot of thought to their posts.


Is Love unlimited? absolutely not.

There are different factors that come into play when one chooses to go outside of the societal view of what a marriage (or committed relationship) should be. And how these factors are handled varies very much with each different couple, based on such things as past experiences with love/sex, personality traits and personal convictions. Two different couples may be in similar polyamorous situations, but may handle them two very different ways, both of which work equally well.

I've learned about this quite a bit. so i will share as best i can... A year ago... i was involved in a romantic situation with someone who was not my husband, there was some very real emotions involved, at the time, i did not fully understand how to balance both my husband and this other person... and i think, due to my immaturity/being naive in the situation, i ended up putting the second person first, giving little or no attention to my husband, and that was the main issue of why it didn't work out. it crashed and burned quickly and resulted in many many talks with my husband about what had gone wrong.

Fact of the matter was, what went wrong was that i had not quite fully grasped how to balance the needs of my husband, myself and the other individual, i had only operated in the " it's just me and you" realm of relationships, so i defaulted to that right away with the second person, because that was the habit i was trained into.

What i have come to grasp is that Balance is the key in these kind of relationships. If balance is applied, and caring thought is given to all parties and to your primary relationship, then things are much more successful.

now, i will move forward to present time: i've done a lot of learning about emotional balance, most of this Gilda has taught me. Since we've been involved emotionally, i would technically be 'emotionally cheating.' I have genuine feelings of love, and i spend a lot of time attending to her needs, almost equal to that of my husband.
This i have seen as a true learning experience and will help me for what i'm embarking on currently, which is to take everything to the next level with someone.

Yes. i do love more than one person currently and i'm developing strong feelings for a third person who i've recently met. And no, i have not found my love for my husband dimished in the least... in Fact... i feel like these extra relationships give me the opporunity to expand myself and to grow as an individual... all of which my primary relationship benefits from.

Here is the thing:
People either define their relationships by the things we exclude or the things we INCLUDE.

we're incredibly happy and in love. and i fully understand these types of situations may not work for everyone, but it certainly works for who we are. I would also like to point out that we've been best friends and lovers for going on 10 years, we have a high level of communication and understanding of each other's needs/wants and personality, that's an important key to why this works for us.

I'm not with my husband to control his life or to 'keep him all to myself' I want him to grow and expand, because that benefits us.

I'm with him because i want to Share my life with his, not own it.

sweetpea

__________________
Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"