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Originally Posted by onesnowyowl
I still don't get why people feel the need to play games to get what they want. Being honest takes you so much further.
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Because the games work
Bottom line, it's more fun. Now for those who care, here's where I'm coming from. Ideally, I'd like to be happily married with kids, a house, and a white picket fence. But I was very bad with people. Shy, introverted, nervous, sits in the corner, needs to comb his hair, etc. I used to think of being popular and likeable as, "You either have it, or you don't." My only social asset was my sense of humor. After a while, I just quit on people.
A few years ago, the idea of "people skills" has come to my attention. People. Skills. "It's a skill?!" I thought. That would mean that I could learn it. So I looked into it. While working at the mall, I had a chance to try this stuff out. Some was learned from books, some through trial and error. Still didn't hang out with co-workers. I got along better with strangers than the people I'm around all the time. So something was still missing...
A little over a year ago, I came across the whole PUA (Pick Up Artist) sence. Some of it is a little too sleazy, but there was one thing that has always eluded me, that caught my attention. Teasing. From the "Nice Guy"s point of view, it makes no logical sense at all. "He's being mean and she likes it?" When I was about 14, I was with a friend of mine when he and the girl next door were laughing and having a good time. The kind of fun were they would playfully punch each other and such. Then I tried to join in, "I'm not playing with you!" I promptly went home. But there it was. Online. In an ebook. A how-to guide on how to be fun around girls. And I made use of my sense of humor. My last mall job, most of my new co-workers enjoyed being around me. And one customer even gave me her number! I didn't have to jump off a roof any more, because people like.
Now although I just mentioned all the pros, it does have it's cons. First of all, the gals become attracted to you from the get go. And this is great for a short term relationship and/or a fling. But if she's at the point in her life were she's looking for a long-term relationship that would lead to marrage, then it's a turn off. The kind of emotion and affection required for such a thing isn't likely to build from someone who gave you her number after only knowing you for 10 minutes. That sort of thing takes time to build. Like when two coworkers are interested in each other and decide to be friends first. Then the start dating, and a few years later, they get married. There was even a poll here on TFP asking married couples if they slept together on their first date. Most of them didn't.
All in all, being good at the "game" builds our confidence. And who doesn't want a confident man?
