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A friend of mine recently called to complain about being so hugely pregnant she can no longer masterbate comfortably. All I can think is, well if you had been doing more of that in the first place instead of being such a dumb tramp, you would not be in that predicament.
That and I am sure as fuck glad I can still masterbate.
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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim
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