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Originally Posted by Rodney
Where such communication and deliberation does _not_ take place -- the vast majority of cases -- things don't tend to go well. Because one or the other of the partners feels threatened: they no longer are sure who has precedence.
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Agreed. In fact, the <a href="http://www.word-detective.com/121800.html">agita</a> we've encountered has been of two varieties: precedence fears, and left-outness.
Both are relatively easy to deal with, once you've kicked their asses a few times. The trick is to see them for what they are. They'll tend to magnify themselves on you, but if you can really distinguish what's going on, they shrink back down to a manageable size.