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Overheard at a party once: That dumb cunt is a cum chugging fuck pig.
My favorite general purpose swear is "Shitballs, Hellfire, and Bloody Damnation!"
He's got his head up his ass so far he farts every time he blows his nose.
Why don't you run outside and play a nice game of hide and go fuck yourself.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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