Sissy and Dr. KGB are excellent sources of advice on this.
A reputation as a hard ass is a very good thing for a professor to have. You definitely want that if you can get it. Remember, you're not there to make friends with the students, you're there to teach them the material and make sure they do what they have to do. That goes for TA's as well. This, unfortunately, isn't a situation where you'll catch more flies with honey.
I can give you no advice in regards to the TA. Don't feel too bad about her reputation getting screwed up, though. She's done it to herself. You need a TA who's going to reduce your stress level, not add to it.
Keep us updated on how this goes.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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