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Put it this way: your TA has multiple conflicting demands on her time, and in the past she has been putting other demands above yours. Since she is actually receiving a benefit for helping you, she has a choice: help you, or forego the benefit.
It sounds like she is beginning to step up to her obligations, but only time will tell. If she fails, tell her that no TA is better than an inconsistent one. And it's true: you said that she's been adding stress to your life. Don't see it as a move against her; see it as a move to ensure your own well-being. Which she has been harming by downgrading her obligations to you.
As for wrecking her career: she's the one who's doing that, by not living up to her obligations. What kind of recommendation could you honestly give her at this point, if she asked for one?
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