Quote:
|
Originally Posted by SecretMethod70
Well, I don't think match is questioning the value of soma's intentions. What he is getting at, I think, is that people tend to always think that there is something they are missing which they believe will "fill" them...in this case, extraversion. And, his point is, once extraversion is achieved, it is unlikely to fulfill whatever need the person is trying to fulfill: basically, the quest for eudaimonia. This is not to say that extraversion or seeking to become extraverted is a bad thing, only that it is often sought by unhappy introverts thinking that it will make them happy. It is easy for introverts to look at the ease with which extraverts socialize and interpret that as happiness, and then attribute that happiness to that ease in socializing. Truth is, neither state is more likely to breed content. Match, as far as I can tell, is also not making any argument for choosing to be "less socially adept." Introversion is *not* a lack of sociability. It is simply a different method of socializing. Introverts tend to have fewer, but more intense friendships for example. Extraverts tend to have less intense, but far more numerous friendships. I'm not willing to say one is better than the other. In short, I think what match is getting at is that extraversion is often sought as an answer to a problem, but it is not. This isn't to say that it's a bad thing for one to make an effort to become more extraverted, and match makes it clear that he doesn't think this either by pointing out that he is choosing to try and be more extraverted as well. It is only to say that one should be sure and evaluate the reasons for doing so. |
Sultana, good points of discussion. You are right that self-improvement is simly personal growth, and that of course we shouldn't seek to impede our personal growth. However, I wasn't arguing for thus, or that we should stop trying to improve socially if we are not.
Secretmethod took the very words right out of my mouth. That is EXACTLY what I mean but with much much more insight!
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Gilda
I disagree with this part. Introversion is being less sociable; that's pretty much the definition. Also, having fewer friendships doesn't imply that they are more intense. The same lack of social skills can lead to difficulty in getting close to those aquaintances who are available for potential friendships.
I'm not saying this is true of all, but it certainly is of some.
Gilda
|
Gilda, it is true that *some* introverted people, because they are less 'social', do not have that many good friendships period, no matter how few or how many.
But there are other types of introverted people, who I know, including myself, who are more of what Secretmethod described: people who prefer to only know a few, but always hang out with the same few. That is, I am close friends with a select few, and all my 'social' energy is spent on them rather than 'spread out' amongst a whole bunch of people (but the latter is what I am improving on, as I posted earlier, but of course, that comes at the cost of less time. In my case, not less time with my closest friends, but less time studying. Hence my shit performance in school thus far this semester).