match000

Well, I had known this even before I started being 'social'. I think these are just the basics to even interact with people in groups. To be a social butterfly means MUCH more; you have to be able to not only address the group properly (like you said above) but actually make people laugh, respect, and listen to you successfully.

When I am in a group, its like a game; each person has an attention-o-meter and that means when I speak I pay attention to each person. If someone looks bored or put off that I am talking, I put my full eye contact on them to re-engage them into the group; I then shift my eyes around from person to person, speaking to each person, so that the attention-o-meters of each person remains high and steady.

This is just the basics; when you get good you have to be able to joke around with people in the group while addressing the entire group at once.

Regarding talking to people seperately in a group as you mentioned:
If someone obviously is speaking to the whole group, telling a story or making a joke, it is kind of rude to turn aside and start a side conversation with someone beside you, ESPECIALLY if that person is listening attentively to the speaker. You have to watch their reaction, if you do decide to start a side conversation. You say one line, and see how they react; if they respond with something that engages you and keeps the conversation going, thats a green light. If they say "Uh huh" or "Ok" or "thats cool" that means "Fuck off I'm trying to listen to this guy, you're annoying me".

I'm always really annoyed by certain classmates of mine who have NO social skills; they always keep blabbing to me when I'm trying to listen to someone speak (another friend or the professor or something), and its SO annoying. You have to keep this to a minimum.