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Old 02-10-2006, 11:31 PM   #13 (permalink)
soma
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Ok, so here's another update. Two in one day? Crazy I know. I went to what was called the mindfullness club. We did meditation exercises and it was pretty relaxing. Afterwards, there was food and I mingled around a bit. Not very much, but this was the first time I've mingled alone ... EVER. It was good. I think I did alright. Got a few names, met a few new faces. I think I'm going back next week.

After eating dinner with my GF, we went out bowling with some folks. It was good. After bowling, we went out to eat. I participated in the conversation taking place... I don't know what got a hold of me really. but yeah, things just started to work out. I think I was just feeding off the other social things I was doing earlier that day. Usually, my life consists mainly of surfing the internet while listening to music. When I go out with people, it's like fish out of water. I'm completely not used to being away from my computer and clam way the hell up. But not today.

OBSERVATION:
One thing I've noticed is this. Actually, I think this might be a big factor in any breakthroughs I make down the road. But anyway, here goes. Ok. So, I've been an introvert all my life. Whenever making conversation with people, it would usually be with people close to me. Perhaps a class mate sitting right next to me, that sort of thing. Anyway, in social situations, having miniconversations with the person next to you isn't always a good idea. This may not be true, but I seem to notice that. Let me explain further. Whenever I try to start a conversation in a group social setting with another person, I always get a not so great response. I never understood why, and just assumed there was something terribly terribly wrong with me, but what I've recently learned is that this is for a different reason. In group social settings, you're supposed to be part of that group and ... be in that group. So instead of quietly trying to start a conversation with someone on the side, you start a conversation with the person sitting at the other end of the table, so EVERYONE can be involved in the conversation. If you are like what i used to be and have difficulty speaking up, just do it. Basically. It's sounds stupid, but it's absolutely true. I don't have a loud voice or anything like that, but have learned if you just start talking (when there is a pause in conversation) people will listen. I've always been afraid of talking in large groups because I feel there is a possibility people won't pay attention to me (= rejection = salt rubbed in a lifetime of past emotional wounds).

Anyway, to summarize the above paragraph: When in a group social setting, you have to be a part of the group. You have to work your way from the group, down to individuals, not the other way around.

Does what I'm saying make sense? Have other people noticed the same thing? I want to bounce ideas off the TFP to hear some opinions on .. general social behavior. But the problem with that is that most people learned these things looooong ago, so everything is too natural to even think about. Ah well. Posting = good.

Happy weekend btw.
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