abaya

Oh man, I REALLY dislike those kind of women. I've known a few in my time, and I just want to slap the men silly (and the woman of course). We had the worst ones on our varsity crew team in college... I had to deal with them the most when I was captain of the women's team (I considered that a work situation). Imagine the mercy of our coach, a Major in the Marines...

Anyway, I know this is going to sound arrogant, but I have never cried at work and I have very little patience for those who do so. The last time this happened was when I was doing fieldwork in Zambia last summer, with a team of 3 graduate students (me, a man, and a woman, all in our 20s) and two professors (two women in their 40s+). We are all professional anthropologists, which generally means we enjoy traveling and know how to adjust to new cultures. Certainly, we all knew we'd be in isolated in a remote Zambian village for weeks at a time, and if we didn't like the idea we wouldn't be there. If nothing else, we had all gotten a free trip to Africa to go camping for the summer, and goddamn if we wouldn't at least act like we were grateful and having a good time.

Or so I thought. I can't count how many times the other female student broke down and/or freaked out. She would cry at the slightest provocation or feeling of someone disliking her, and one of us would have to go and counsel her so that she would stop dragging the whole group down with her mood. The principal investigator (head prof) got very bitter and wished she had never accepted this girl to come on the trip. I couldn't believe this girl was an anthropologist. To me, sure, the average person might have emotional issues in an intense, demanding field situation like that... but come on, this is supposed to be our job, and we're supposed to be mature enough to handle its pressures. Apparently the girl was just not cut out for it. I wanted to strangle her for most of the summer.

Don't get me wrong, I had my moments. Like when I got horribly sick and threw up/had diarrhea for 24 hours straight (real fun when there is no running water or toilet of any kind), I cried. And I missed ktspktsp something awful.. I know the rest of the team had issues, too... their loved ones were far away, and we were all moody at one point or another. But instead of broadcasting it to the whole village and looking like a hormonal American teenager, we chose to cry or ride out our bad moods in private. In the tent, office, or car, where others could not see us. Either that or we would talk about it in a civilized manner, sitting around the campfire, having a rational discussion. NOT crying or throwing an attention-whore fit.

I have to say that I don't really cry in front of anyone, actually, other than my parents and my boyfriend. And hell, I don't hold back around them.. I have no problem letting loose there. But if you ask my best friends, the ones that have known me since we were 6... they've seen me cry maybe once. So I guess even though I try to empathize with other people's issues, my level of tolerance goes way down when it is a work situation. If someone wants to cry after work, fine.. I'll listen then. But NEVER on the job.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran