Originally Posted by analog

snippy...
Typical line (and keep in mind i've never once been in a fight):

"No, I don't want to take it outside. Let me make sure i've got this- you're acting like an asshole, I called you on your rude behavior, and your response is to prove you're an asshole by threatening me? People with balls don't make threats, they make promises- and right now, I promise you will be much better off if you walk away before you get yourself in trouble."

I love delivering it, it's like a small speech. I actually wrote it as a line for a character in a script I was writing one day, years ago, and thought it was so great i'd give it a shot. Hasn't failed me- every person i've ever said it to has backed down immediately, with no further incident.

I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, though... because apparently (i've been told as much) that when I say it, in my very calm and even tone, I take on the facial expressions and appearance of a psycho killer or something, and that maybe part of its success is that people think i'm literally a serial killer or hitman or something by the look i'm giving them. I've been told that by more than one friend. So, grain of salt and all that.