BUSH'S NEW PLAN FOR HOMELESS: CLOWN CARS! By JAKE ANDERSON WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Bush Administration has a daring new plan to house the growing number of homeless people in the country -- clown cars! "Did you ever go to the circus and see how many clowns come out of a single car?" Bush asked his Cabinet at a meeting last month. "There's like, tons! From one little car! What if we got a bunch of these cars and let homeless people live in them. Wouldn't that be great?" According to a Cabinet official, Bush went to the circus last month and was impressed with how the clowns looked when they emerged from the cars. "The President said, 'They're healthy. Energetic. So it must be pretty comfortable in there. And what's more, they can all drive around together and look for jobs! Talk about car pooling!' "When the President gets really excited about an idea like this, there's no point telling him that the clowns don't really live in the car, and that it has a false bottom," the official said. "So now we have scientists working on how to build a normal sized car that can hold 27 people. The aide said that Bush also ordered the Pentagon to experiment with shooting soldiers out of a cannon into Iraq.

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