I try to live my life as a flourishing person would. Eudaimonia baby! An awful lot of my moral guidance comes from Plato and Aristotle, especially Aristotle's idea that the virtuous action in a given situation is what a virtuous person would do. So I try to think about what the one or two virtuous people I know would do in that situation. I also occasionally make sure of the maxim I've gleaned from Nietzsche, "Always act out of strength, and never out of weakness."
To answer one more of your questions, I don't think you can live a happy life if it's not a moral life. We all have something like a 'nature', and however you want to describe what that means, it means that certain sorts of life won't ever make us happy. It's possible, I suppose, to get oneself rid of the guilt feelings one might well have from being brought up properly, but I suspect that that would have other consequences for one's happiness.
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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."
"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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