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This is a very interesting topic. I think all women deal with this in one way or another. So if we all hate this high-maintenance, high-stress image that society (or men) try to impose on us, why do we battle with it every day? I have to be totally honest and say that, sometimes, I DO want to look like "that woman" and hear compliments and have life a little easier. That doesn't mean it's a good thing to want...
How do you see yourself in the mirror when you look into it?
I, like most girls here, have had phases. I have hated myself a lot. Now I am at a point in my life where I am sure I'm not that bad. I have great days, and I have worse days. But that's ok. I am not perfect, and that's the way it is. I am happy with what I have, because I feel pretty good generally about my physical appearance, and also about who I am emotionally and as a person. I believe that I am a good person with my feet on the ground and some good ideas and talents in me, and I feel that I have enough to be happy more often than I am sad. Although that is not only the case, but of course it doesn't only depend on me all the time.
Why do you think the bar is set so incredibly high for women?
Media is a big part of it, I agree. I think also that we allow society to do this to us. It's a hard thing to fight, true. And sometimes, deep down, we want to be like those airbrushed perfect successful people.
And can women really live up to this?
I don't think any women REALLY in all truth do. The ones who appear to be "more perfect" do a better job with the appearance of things. Of course some people are more capable than others. But when they go home, perhaps their home isn't always sparkling and they will occasionally wear slobby clothes when they are alone, and fart even if it's ONLY in the bathroom with no one around. We're all human, we're all real.
Is anyone here actually living up to this image of the in control and perfectly styled professional women?
Well not me. But like I said I have good days and worse days. But I know that I can look pretty damned good when I try. And when I apply myself I can do a pretty good job at whatever it is. I have skills and talent. It is enough for me to know how great I can be but to allow myself to be real and relaxed in ordinary day-to-day things. I think also that it's an asset to be able to do both and not always be perfect. Can you imagine how annoying being married to a perfect woman could be? She certainly would not be the most forgiving person.
How many of you are generally happy with the way you are present yourself phsyically, professionally?
I am happy with some things. I need to exercise more, for my health above all. I would like to feel a little more in shape, but I'm slim which is already halfway there. I need to eat better too. I like my food way too much for my own good. I would like to be able to afford better clothes, but I thing I present myself well for my job. I don't wear much make-up and of course when I do I get told it suits me. But that's normal, make-up just accentuates the features you already have and makes them more noticeable.
Above all, I would like to feel that being happy with myself will be enough for someone else to love me. I am at a point in my life where I have decided to do things for myself, and if no-one comes my way who is ready to be open and committed to me 100%, then that's life and that won't stop me from being happy.
I don't know what men want. People say women are complicated but I would say we are more simple because we have a better idea of what we want and stick to it. I'm generalising now, but I feel that so many men say they know what they want but then turn around and find someone or something else, in total opposition to what they have been telling you for ages. I think men are too easily seduced by things around them and don't trust their own better judgement. Often with disastrous results. This could be material for a new thread - What DO men want?
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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