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Originally Posted by maleficent
this sounds like the plot of a seinfeld episode... where the whiney brunette stated that she wouldnt ever date a person who wasn't pro choice - until she came across a guy she was really attracted to who was pro life... hilarity then ensued... or it tried to anyhow...
you have to pick your battles in any relationship and decide what's important to you... just recently, a person who's opinion i respect, pointed out to me that the reason why I haven't seen much activity on a personal ad I placed is because I placed my politics at pretty conservative... that is a deal breaker for a lot of people.
One my my boyfriend horror stories was a jewish guy I dated, who's family decided that I wasn't marriage material because of my own unwillingness to convert. The religion factor was a deal breaker...
I think it's a little hypocritical of a person to say, that a person isn't relationship worthy because of whatever conviction that they hold, but tehy are good enough to fuck...
I've spent too much time around racists and bigots, i'm not sure i could stomach being in a relationship with one... I'd have to say something... you can't change how a person thinks, if their thought process is based on life experience (I couldn't ever date someone who owned a Rottweiller... My head knows that some are very gentle l oving dogs, doesn't change the fact tha I had one jump a 6 foot fence and be the cause for a bunch of stitches in my arm - I'm terrified of them... ) People's life experience shapes who they are and how they think... Doesn't m ean I have to agree with them nor does it mean i have to spend time with them..
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I wonder if the reason conservative in your online add is a turn off isn't due to politics so much as to the concept that you won't put out until marriage it may imply. In my experiance, conservatives are even more 'freaky' sexually than most liberals (example, most swingers list themselves as conservative politically by 2-1) but if I read in a single womans profile she was conservative I'd still think 'frigid' despite me knowning better. Also a lot of people who think of themselves as liberal or moderate really are conservative, they just don't understand the labels very well. Personally I'd take it out of your add, not because you would be happy dating a moonbat but it would color some less politicially minded peoples opinion.
As for the Jewish thing I can sympathize, I had a friend who was east coast Jewish and the first question he would ask a girl was if she was Jewish, knowning his family would never accept anyone who wasn't. This was alien thinking to me, being its not so much an issue in the Chicago area.
I think the real message here, has nothing to do with bigots or morals, but attraction, and saying opposites attract is really a myth. You may love the LITTLE differences in your SO, but major ones are often hard to overcome.
I wish I would have recalled this last night when I posted, but a friend of mine is homosexual and after the 2004 election seemed to be really depressed and pissed off. Not because Bush won, he wasn't happy with that, but he is a realist, but because his long time cohabitation boyfriend turned out to be a Republican. In their three year relationship politics never really came up (note it started after the 2000 election) and it really blindsided him. It was never a part of their relationship for 3 years, it never was an issue, yet just the thought was enough to make him question the relationship. He did get over it, but I think his boyfriend said he just won't vote the next election or something like that.
So while you may have flings with people well outside your mindset, having a long term relationship of mutual respect with such people is quite difficult.