Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Years Later

Hash_Browns · 01-25-2006, 10:49 AM

Chris, I'm glad that everything is working out with the girls being with you. You seem to care for them very much and I personally feel that is something lacking very much in a lot of families where I'm from at least. I know that a lot of people might disagree with me here as Trisha hasn't shown many motherly qualities, but the fact remains that she is their Mom and they miss her and no matter what happens they will always need her in their lives. If you want to be able to see these girls should she get custody back, then you need to be open to Trisha being in your life more then you might like. I'm not saying you will have to live with her, date her or even like her, just that bring with these girls comes with being around their mother. If you trully feel scared for these kids, you need to put those fears in writing with lots of detail as to your experience with this situation and explain what part of her lifestyle is putting the kids at risk, not what you could do to make them better. The things you have done for them are amazing and beyond what I would have thought possible for someone in your situation, so please don't think I'm being mean. But when CPS starts looking into placing the children back in their mothers care, they aren't going to care about what great things you will provide them with, they are only allowed to see what would keep their mother from giving them the basic needs they need to survive, that is just how it works. If you really want these girls to be a part of your life, then maybe there is a way to request visitation. That or you have to prove that she isn't fit to care for them. This is a hard case to fight from all of the things I have experience with friends in similar situations.

As for the 4 yr. old asking if Mommy doesn't love her anymore. You have to let her know all the time that Mommy does love her. Little reminders like "I bet your mommy is thinking about you right now." and sharing with her stories about her mom they she might recall that were good and happy for her. There is no way of knowing what kids are really thinking, the best we can do is try. You told her the truth, which is what matters most in my eyes. That she is sick, but is going to get better and maybe let her know that you are positive that she is thinking about her all the time.

I think that's it for now. I trully hope I didn't bring you down with this post, but woke you up to a few things you can do to make this easier for everyone involved.

Brightest Blessings.

01-25-2006, 10:49 AM	#59 (permalink)
Hash_Browns Psycho Location: Right behind you...BOO!	Chris, I'm glad that everything is working out with the girls being with you. You seem to care for them very much and I personally feel that is something lacking very much in a lot of families where I'm from at least. I know that a lot of people might disagree with me here as Trisha hasn't shown many motherly qualities, but the fact remains that she is their Mom and they miss her and no matter what happens they will always need her in their lives. If you want to be able to see these girls should she get custody back, then you need to be open to Trisha being in your life more then you might like. I'm not saying you will have to live with her, date her or even like her, just that bring with these girls comes with being around their mother. If you trully feel scared for these kids, you need to put those fears in writing with lots of detail as to your experience with this situation and explain what part of her lifestyle is putting the kids at risk, not what you could do to make them better. The things you have done for them are amazing and beyond what I would have thought possible for someone in your situation, so please don't think I'm being mean. But when CPS starts looking into placing the children back in their mothers care, they aren't going to care about what great things you will provide them with, they are only allowed to see what would keep their mother from giving them the basic needs they need to survive, that is just how it works. If you really want these girls to be a part of your life, then maybe there is a way to request visitation. That or you have to prove that she isn't fit to care for them. This is a hard case to fight from all of the things I have experience with friends in similar situations. As for the 4 yr. old asking if Mommy doesn't love her anymore. You have to let her know all the time that Mommy does love her. Little reminders like "I bet your mommy is thinking about you right now." and sharing with her stories about her mom they she might recall that were good and happy for her. There is no way of knowing what kids are really thinking, the best we can do is try. You told her the truth, which is what matters most in my eyes. That she is sick, but is going to get better and maybe let her know that you are positive that she is thinking about her all the time. I think that's it for now. I trully hope I didn't bring you down with this post, but woke you up to a few things you can do to make this easier for everyone involved. Brightest Blessings. __________________ Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!