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So the question - Are you an Optimist or a Pessimist?? Why?? and if you are an optimist, what keeps you looking up? or at least how do you get yourself to look up again when bad things happen??
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I hope I'm an optimist most of the time. Some times by virtue of the job, I must be a realist, though that might be construed as pessimist by some [even me, at times!].
What keeps me looking up is a Who: Jesus.
He makes this promise ~ Hebrews 13:5 ...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
How true that was long about my 5th wedding anniversary. In the span of 6 months [closer to 5], my brother-in-law died of AIDS, my mom died of a stroke, and our 2nd child died of SIDS. There's more to the story [stories!] but Gracie's death was the toughest of all of that. It was a hard Christmas, but our church family was a blessing [I was not a pastor then].
I am not proud to say that in about the 6 months after that -- 6 months or so -- I came to have serious doubts about God. Not proud because it would be nice to think I didn't give up on God like that! And don't think I'm being too hard on myself in that admission. That was how I felt at the time; in time I came to understand that was part of the grieving I was going through but simply didn't understand then.
But God never gave up on me. And eventually He brought me back so I could fully enjoy a warm relationship with Him! The renewed and fresh understanding of His grace was wonderful.
Don't misunderstand. It was a dark time in my life, and I would have rather not gone through some of it. Sometimes the tuition in the school of life is a bit higher than you expect to pay!
But I also gained some valuable insights from that time, and I treasure much of that now.
I will say, on the night Gracie died, or maybe the next night, I had the opportunity to be in my living room alone. Oh, how I cried. I poured out my heart to God, confessing, basically, honestly, "You have broken my heart." It's how I felt.
In time, I found He healed it.
Hope this helps you on your search. Blessings.
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"To Love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." -- C.S. Lewis [Pastor Tim, "I'm not sure I agree 100%, but I find it an interesting sentiment expressed."]