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Martian · 01-16-2006, 04:22 PM

The way I see it, happiness is in a moment. Anyone who tells you they're happy all the time is lying to you, but even worse they're lying to themselves first. Nobody goes through life without ever being sad or upset. The vast majority of us just exist between moments, waiting for the next one to make us happy or sad or angry.

And really, were someone constantly happy, I would have to pity them. How can you appreciate joy without pain? The negative provides the contrast, which makes the good times that much better.

Contentment is harder, but it's key.The trick is that what one person needs to be content is ery different from what anyone else needs and that it's rarely what we think we need. Often we don't need anything other than to realize what we have is truly great.

Here's a different spin on things for you Gilda; what if this is the peak for you? What if it doesn't get any better than this and you're likely to spend the next fifty years in a job you love and are successful at, surrounded by people who love and admire you?

A very wise man once told me that when somebody hurts you, there are only two people who are able to fix it. And in the vast majority of the cases, the person who hurt you isn't interested in repairing the damage, maybe not even capable. That means it's up to you to accept it and let go. It's not an easy thing to do; I'm still learning to let go. I'm only now even realizing how much I have to let go of; I have to let go of all the pain my dad caused, the pain my mum caused (which is worse because she gave me a lot of joy and support too), the pain caused by my ex and hardest of all, the pain I've caused myself. None of it is easy.

I'd strongly suggest you use the courage you've shown in facing your social anxieties to look at approaching therapy again. It's not easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.

If you're interested, just now at this moment I'm most definitely not happy. I'm going through a lot of pain right now that's hard for me to deal with. But earlier this afternoon, I went to visit a young girl and her child, who is only just now turning a year old. That little boy made me laugh; playing with him, making faces at him, watching him smile, that made me happy.

I had my contentment. I haven't found it again yet, but I will eventually. It takes time.

01-16-2006, 04:22 PM	#36 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	The way I see it, happiness is in a moment. Anyone who tells you they're happy all the time is lying to you, but even worse they're lying to themselves first. Nobody goes through life without ever being sad or upset. The vast majority of us just exist between moments, waiting for the next one to make us happy or sad or angry. And really, were someone constantly happy, I would have to pity them. How can you appreciate joy without pain? The negative provides the contrast, which makes the good times that much better. Contentment is harder, but it's key.The trick is that what one person needs to be content is ery different from what anyone else needs and that it's rarely what we think we need. Often we don't need anything other than to realize what we have is truly great. Here's a different spin on things for you Gilda; what if this is the peak for you? What if it doesn't get any better than this and you're likely to spend the next fifty years in a job you love and are successful at, surrounded by people who love and admire you? A very wise man once told me that when somebody hurts you, there are only two people who are able to fix it. And in the vast majority of the cases, the person who hurt you isn't interested in repairing the damage, maybe not even capable. That means it's up to you to accept it and let go. It's not an easy thing to do; I'm still learning to let go. I'm only now even realizing how much I have to let go of; I have to let go of all the pain my dad caused, the pain my mum caused (which is worse because she gave me a lot of joy and support too), the pain caused by my ex and hardest of all, the pain I've caused myself. None of it is easy. I'd strongly suggest you use the courage you've shown in facing your social anxieties to look at approaching therapy again. It's not easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. If you're interested, just now at this moment I'm most definitely not happy. I'm going through a lot of pain right now that's hard for me to deal with. But earlier this afternoon, I went to visit a young girl and her child, who is only just now turning a year old. That little boy made me laugh; playing with him, making faces at him, watching him smile, that made me happy. I had my contentment. I haven't found it again yet, but I will eventually. It takes time. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame