Wow, man. I almost got sucked into another "fix Gilda" thread. But then I took another look and saw that there were actual questions that I can answer, so I'll just answer them. That was a close one!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gilda
Are you happy?
If so, what is it in your life that makes you happy?
If not, what is it about your life that you think is responsible? What changes in your life do you think would allow you to be happy?
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I'm very, very happy. That doesn't always mean that everything in my life goes 100% my way.
What makes me happy... is a complicated question.
For a long time I just "existed", like you describe, Gilda. My big concern in life was what would be happening on ER this week. Just like you, Gilda, I had all the stuff that should theoretically make me happy, but my instead I was just sort of numb and dead most of the time.
Then I discovered (with the help of a course in <a href="http://www.landmarkeducation.com">transformation education</a>--not an employee, a VERY satisfied customer) that I am--and always have been--the source of my experience of life. I'd been waiting for something to come along and "make me happy", and then any time something did, rather than enjoying it and appreciating it, I'd judge it and question it and evaluate it until its ability to effect me was completely dried up. Then I'd complain that nothing made me happy! I finally realized that I'd been choosing that. I'd been trading in happiness for the right to complain about life, and it cost me everything I really wanted in life.
What makes me happy now is my ongoing choice to be happy, in every circumstance, no matter what's happening to me. Sometimes I do well at that, and sometimes I don't, but when I don't, I can always look and find where I'm choosing something other than happiness.