Hey Gilda
I´m sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. From my personal experience happiness is not really out there, but within. I don't think a great job or family support equal happiness by themselves, sure, they do make life easier but I don't think they are it.
Happiness is not so much absence of trouble or problems but that calm tranquility inspite of it, the “so what” I'm still alive I will make it!
You say you have been through some rough times in your life, I find it very important to be my own best friend. Let´s face it, people come and go and very often those we love the most have more power to disappoint us and very often end up hurting us deeply. Think about yourself in the past, look at the moments when you have felt lonely or friendless and somehow unhappy and promise yourself that you will always be by your side. That you support and understand the person you were and the choices you made and forgive your own mistakes. I am much more critical with myself than I will ever be with others. It took me a long time to change that and enjoy my own company and accept that I'm a person worth spending time with.
And be true to urself, it makes no sense trying to be what others expect u to be. There are millions of people but only one Gilda! Just spend time knowing urself and be the best Gilda u can be, I don't care about others expectations but on being in reality all that I can be potentially, I try to be the best me
We all somehow search for happiness and fulfilment, we all feel lonely sometimes, it's part of being human. Make the most of this time of uncertainty and search, it's really a great chance to grow, to discover urself more fully and to see and accept the support and love of those around you.
I am also a very spiritual person and I think that we all have other needs besides the obvious physical and social ones. I do think we have spiritual needs too, deep down we all long for a meaning and a life purpose, call them God, inner peace, serenity acceptance or love.
I will keep you in mind and wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me. Take care