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Originally Posted by Impetuous1
I think the goal is to create a bond that no one can interfere with. I think that the nature of women and men make it very hard to be friends to a great degree if there is any attraction at all and an emotional attachment. Why? Because that's part of how you define a relationship between you and your SO.
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Very well put. Creating a relationship means creating and maintaining that bond exclusively... at least as much as both people are comfortable with. (Unless you are in an open one, but that's a different ballgame.) But it still comes down to that essential bond, no matter what exterior players come into the picture.
If those other people threaten the bond... (from either partner's side) well, both partners have to discuss and agree on what is appropriate in terms of "emotional cheating," just as they would agree on what constitutes physical cheating. If there is discomfort for one person and not the other, then it comes down to choosing the relationship itself vs. relationships with the outside people. Depends on priorities, I guess. And it's a shitty lesson to learn, with hindsight, that your priorities might have been wrong.
I'm sorry, Sim.