Thanks poppinjay/justjess...I've heard of the topic of "emotional cheating"...but I'm not sure I really understand it. I mean, what counts as emotional cheating? What crosses that line? I'd like to hear your opinions, although I guess this is something that would have been better for Cheery and I to talk about ourselves.
I mean, Sarah and I were definitely close, no doubt about it. But I was still closer to Cheery, and didn't/don't feel comfortable telling Sarah some things; I can certainly feel the void and absence of Cheery, even with Sarah still as my friend. It's scary to me to imagine trying to develop the emotional intimacy that Cheery and I had with someone else, even Sarah. And in the time since Thanksgiving, I had really toned down the time I spent talking to Sarah -- in the course of a month we talked online about 5 or 6 times and only a couple times or not at all on the phone. Furthermore, when we'd be busy, that'd be it -- she was busy with work recently, we didn't talk for almost 2 weeks. I mean, I would turn to her for a good laugh, or good conversation, and sometimes support or an outlet, or would be a shoulder she could lean on when she was having problems, but Cheery was my go-to person. Did it make me happy to talk to Sarah? Yes it did, but isn't that a common attribute of friends anyway? And in any case, I have 0 good friends at my school right now, and had fallen out of close touch with many of my undergrad friends. Was there emotional intimacy with Sarah? Yes, to a good degree. But again, being friends for 6 years, that's bound to develop, and I admit I am an open and honest "talker". I don't know...thoughts on that, in relation to emotional cheating? Where is that line? If you're trying to be loyal to your SO, does that mean you can't go to someone else periodically, even if they are a girl/guy? Just curious because I'd like to have a better idea if I failed at this or how to do better...gracias
As for riding the fence, and in addition to all the thoughts I posted above on Sarah...after the first weekend in December (when I thought Cheery and I might be over Sarah, and had an awesome weekend), I felt great about our relationship...and for much of December, I felt so much better and confident about Cheery and I (minus the fear of the Sarah issue). In fact, when I saw Sarah before Christmas, it was all so much easier, so much more relaxed, and I was confident who I wanted to be (and was) with. Oh well...as for any reattempt in the near future, at this point I feel it would have to be initiated by Cheery and would have to consist of some good heart to hearts -- I think she knows that I accept whatever her decision is and that I'm not counting on anything.
Last edited by simivin; 01-11-2006 at 03:43 PM..
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