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Pottery err poetry...
My first attempt at posting one of my musings...
With just a blink…a second from being past.. things change so rapidly..
I’m dumbfounded. 4 histories have gone since my last attempt at a soulful lyric.. And yet I find myself disturbed…aching…inspired…
Our lives are poles apart…but somehow an electricity runs through us..
An electricity that binds…I cower…I sit, unequivocally confused..
You feel remorse for your devotion once spent…
I feel none. My life is what it is because of love exhausted.
We are two worlds and yet I’m drawn…interested
- possibly because you were there..and I never saw it.
- I feigned blindness and impairment of sound
I speak bluntly, at the risk of sounding cold-hearted-
- I have, but a faint recollection of you –nearly non-existent.
I quiver as I recall my life…my visions…I haven’t been here at all.
I lost myself in love, or the pursuit of.
I am injured….beaten….depleted
Forcing myself to a devotion
- a commitment that I can no longer sustain
- a happiness that is- in most ways false
I sheltered my emotions- I searched for an outlet.
I sought comfort in being stand-offish…reticent….
- available and unavailable – all at once.
I hid behind my smile
- that smile which has won me fans and lovers
I veiled myself in liquored intoxication
- my excuse for my emotional outbursts
I concealed myself from that knowledge
- my emotional mortality
My friends knew and exclaimed “You’ve changed since you’ve been with him”
- my ears murdered…my soul pained…. my heart profusely bled.
I stared at the mirror estranged from the girl staring back
- that once winning smile is now a burden
- those eyes pierce into my being
- Who the fuck are you?
Darwinism enveloped me. I evolved to survive.
At present, I doodle with my realization
I long to find myself once again…in all its splendor.
Time, which was once my enemy, is now my new lover.
Strumming away on my mind’s guitar..
- slowly making sense of the chords…
- who knew that music could be so profound?
And you, to whom I owe this great inspiration…
- who unhurriedly, yet steadily unwraps your own truth to me..
We’ve more in common than meets the eye….
And yet….and yet you long for the world…
You search for all its magnificence in ONE person.
On that note….
- I am imperfect. I am simply me.
- My dark eyes, my odd nose, my thick lips, my protruding collarbone….
- My small ears, my over-processed hair, my solitary dimple, my double-jointedness
- My non-Kate Moss physique…….
- I am imperfect. I am simply Rhonda. And yet how I love its reality.
4 histories have gone and I regret not. My life is what it is because of love exhausted.
- and somewhere in time, once again….. to devote…to love…to adore.
…in all complexity and simplicity….to simply be.
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The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, especially if that means completely redefining the world you've come to know.
Don't look too hard, I'm right in front of you.
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