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I find that there is a slight difference between restriction and what my parents always referred to as "boundries".
With restriction you seem to have the old "you will not do this because I say so". When this comes into play there will undoubtably be rebellion, in the case of thongs, she will find a way to get a thong and she will wear it just to spite you. Just because the child does not have a job or a steady means of getting cash does not mean she cannot get something that is obviously so exciting that it is restricted.
Setting up boundries, on the other hand, involves explaining why a certain thing will not be occuring and, most importantly, includes alternative suggestions or compromises. Let's face it, thongs are sexy, they symbolize being sexy and they invoke thoughts about sex, this is no ones fault, boys are not perverted for thinking them but when individuals see things that are attractive they are excited by it. This is part of being human. However, this is not part of being a 12 year old, theres plenty of time for all that confusion later. Still, it is important for young people to feel good about themselves and have a positive self image, as a woman who wore "granny panties" as a little girl I know it is next to impossible to feel good about yourself in a pair of baggy, white cotton shorts. So, that is where bikini cut etc. underwear comes in complete with cute patterns and such. Theres a way to be cute without going overboard.
Explaination and discussion is the key, the key to understanding boundries and it carries into adulthood, being able to discuss and accept direction is a huge part of life, it should really be instilled early on.
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"Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we all hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while and admit the truth -- that when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they're actually beautiful. Possibly even me."
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