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Esen · 01-07-2006, 08:57 PM

Hey, I don't need to judge you or anything but a few things you may want to know about.

In your current situation I would really be carefull about having kids.
The reason why I say this is becasue It will throw a big wall between you and the decisions your need to make for yourself and your wife.
You may be thinking to yourself I'm not having kids, well when you are in a marriage and things are not working out kids sometimes wind up happening, I'm not saying it always happens and such and of course I'm not saying not to ever have kids. but it is really hard to walk away from a relationship when you have kids and if you keep the relationship becasue of the kids well that can also be bad news.

One other thing you should think of if you are going to cheat, is that many times when a woman or a man is in a marriage they think to themselves I am with someone I love and I am now safe to love and have sex with my partner the way It is meant to be, and condoms go out the window. You are with the one you trust. Well if your wife trusts you and is having sex with you and you are having sex with others she is not given the option to protect herslf from third party sex becasue well she trusts you that she is the only one who you are having sex with.

You need to be carefull bud.
My parents friend (an awesome woman) now has HIV becasue her ex husband contracted the disease from a third party.

This is where all those vows things and all come in.

Marriage is kind of a contract. and all that honor and cherish stuff really means that well you are opening yourself up to the other person to trust each other and know that you will keep each other safe.
Personally to me love is when you can tell the other person anything where they can see the true garbage inside of you and not leave. It is something that really needs to grow in a couple. If you have that true and love you can be open with your wife of the torment that you are going through everyday and that is making you stray.

Don't let it tear you up. That is one of the beautiful things about your wife. She is with you becasue well she can help you heal and you can help her. I mean you are life partners. Now I'm not saying what you are doing is wrong or not.

It just sounds to me that since you wrote this post in some odd way you are screaming out for help.
I mean shit you said you don't want to hurt her. And at the same time you don't want to hurt yourself.

You have a woman here who is willing to grow with you, you may look at this as an incredible opportunity to evolve into something you may have never thought could happen. Or you may be with the worng person. if that is the case. Love her anyways and work with her tog o your own ways. but truly love her no matter what. Hate can sometimes creep in when we start to resent our situation. Don't let that happen don't let your relationship start to decay.

Anyhow these are a few tips. don't know if they apply to you or not or if they would even help.
just know that when you post on the TFP people are listening and actually care.
Best of luck to you.

01-07-2006, 08:57 PM	#70 (permalink)
Esen TFPer formaly known as Chauncey Location: North East	Hey, I don't need to judge you or anything but a few things you may want to know about. In your current situation I would really be carefull about having kids. The reason why I say this is becasue It will throw a big wall between you and the decisions your need to make for yourself and your wife. You may be thinking to yourself I'm not having kids, well when you are in a marriage and things are not working out kids sometimes wind up happening, I'm not saying it always happens and such and of course I'm not saying not to ever have kids. but it is really hard to walk away from a relationship when you have kids and if you keep the relationship becasue of the kids well that can also be bad news. One other thing you should think of if you are going to cheat, is that many times when a woman or a man is in a marriage they think to themselves I am with someone I love and I am now safe to love and have sex with my partner the way It is meant to be, and condoms go out the window. You are with the one you trust. Well if your wife trusts you and is having sex with you and you are having sex with others she is not given the option to protect herslf from third party sex becasue well she trusts you that she is the only one who you are having sex with. You need to be carefull bud. My parents friend (an awesome woman) now has HIV becasue her ex husband contracted the disease from a third party. This is where all those vows things and all come in. Marriage is kind of a contract. and all that honor and cherish stuff really means that well you are opening yourself up to the other person to trust each other and know that you will keep each other safe. Personally to me love is when you can tell the other person anything where they can see the true garbage inside of you and not leave. It is something that really needs to grow in a couple. If you have that true and love you can be open with your wife of the torment that you are going through everyday and that is making you stray. Don't let it tear you up. That is one of the beautiful things about your wife. She is with you becasue well she can help you heal and you can help her. I mean you are life partners. Now I'm not saying what you are doing is wrong or not. It just sounds to me that since you wrote this post in some odd way you are screaming out for help. I mean shit you said you don't want to hurt her. And at the same time you don't want to hurt yourself. You have a woman here who is willing to grow with you, you may look at this as an incredible opportunity to evolve into something you may have never thought could happen. Or you may be with the worng person. if that is the case. Love her anyways and work with her tog o your own ways. but truly love her no matter what. Hate can sometimes creep in when we start to resent our situation. Don't let that happen don't let your relationship start to decay. Anyhow these are a few tips. don't know if they apply to you or not or if they would even help. just know that when you post on the TFP people are listening and actually care. Best of luck to you. __________________ ~Esen What is everyone doing in my room?