Jesseboy, it's obvious that you love this girl so I'm not going to tell you to break up with her over this. But this is a problem that she does have to realize.
I am a binge drinker. I have gone so far as to purchase a breathalyzer for recreational purposes. I view drinking as a fun time to have with friends. However, the behavior she seems to be exhibiting I can relate to many others I have seen throughout my life, and many of those people I have seen have a problem. In some of them it's not so bad, you can notice a behavioral change, but I've been able to follow their reasoning and actually understand why they acted in such a way while drunk. Others I have seen become absolutely destroyed by drinking and I know in a few years if changes aren't made their lives will be completely ruined and dug in a gigantic hole. Many of them do not realize how big of an effect it can have on their lives, but living in a college dorm, I see them in their daily life, some I rarely talk to but rather end up just observing because of living right next door to them.
Luckily, from what you say she doesn't fall into the catagory of being destroyed, but there is a problem there. These statements really caught my eye:
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I recently discovered - New Year's Eve - that after a relatively nominal amount of alchohol, she blacks out. I never knew this before, and only recently found this out because while discussing what we did only a few short hours after it happened last night she didn't even remember what bars we visited, or who we talked to. She honestly believed that I was messing around with her when I told her we went to a particular bar, and only after I specifically described what we did there and who we talked to did she recollect that we even went there.
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Yet another reason I absolutely dislike drinking with her is she doesn't know when to stop. I feel like I am always ruining her night when we do go out, because I'm always the one that says it's time to go. Granted, you'd think that she'd realize that if she can hardly walk it would be time to stop drinking, but when she's hammered she just wants to continue. Not only that, but because she is so small and has such a low tolerance, pretty much every time we drink she gets hammered. Most of the time when we go out, when we get home, she has to spend the next few hours trying not to vomit because she has "the spins" It isn't really all that great of a way to end an evening out... nearly every time you go out.
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Well, to be fair, she didn't know that she had issues with her memory - at least to my knowledge. However, I can't dismiss the possiblity completely because if she did have an inkling, it is very likely she wouldn't mention it to me for fear of me have yet another reason to not like her drinking.
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To me, these statements signal a problem.
Remember, I am a binge drinker, I am the first to admit it. At my peak it wasn't "how many" it was just "the bottle." However, I understood how I acted the whole time, and the next day could look back and reflect. I have heard from friends how I acted the night before and compared to my view of the events of the night and they are very close, if not spot on. I purchased the breathalyzer for a reason, and I have learned through my own experience that different alcohols can affect you in surprisingly different ways at the same BAC.
Sit down and tell her how you feel about her drinking. Don't bring up the clothes, what she does with other guys, that's just too much for one conversation; the drinking is the problem here. It really seems like you're holding a lot back and she really needs to hear your feelings. This has been said repeatedly, but it's what has to be done.
One thing that I'm not sure has been said is this, and I cannot stress this enough:
She needs to understand how she acts while drunk. If she does not now, then she needs to learn, if she refuses to learn, then she has a
very big problem.
What I mean by understanding is being able to go through and remember how she acted such a way, why she acted such a way, and how she felt about it both then and now. Alcohol is a drug, drinking is drug use, and in my opinion someone should be able to answer that question during/after
ANY recreational drug use, drinking included.
If she needs you to almost carry her back home at the end of the night it seems like she does not understand how taxing it is on you. This is one way to make her see how she acts when she's drunk. Just get her drunk at home. Have her drink a usual amount have some fun while doing it but make sure she remembers she's doing this for what is coming up, and that is to test her basic motor skill tests. Have her write down exactly how much she has had to drink, names of the beverages included, in complete sentences. Why? Because most people just don't understand how they act. For some falling while walking in a straight line heel-to-toe can be enough, for others, they need more physical proof, which is why I say she should write something. For this to work you obviously need to know how to administer the motor skill tests (it'll take about 5 minutes if you don't already know), and for the writing part have her write at a normal speed for it to work. The writing part is optional, but it provides a piece of physical proof of showing how drunk she can be.
Once she understands how she acts while drunk, then explain to her that you have to deal with her outside in bars, the streets, etc. when she's like this. Hopefully her understanding of what a problem it can be for you and how she physically acts while drunk can be enough for her to realize how bad she can be.