Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Self-help's big lie

pan6467 · 01-06-2006, 01:47 AM

There's a big difference between "self-help" and treating everyone equally or expecting people to be able to achieve the same goals.

Self help teaches you that you can achieve whatever you want, and I firmly believe this. I watched my dad do it. You can be very aware of your weaknesses and strengths and play to your strengths and achieve anything.

Treating everyone the same and believing everyone can achieve the same goals in the same amount of time is ridiculous, especially in school, where a child must be given the time to learn their strengths and weaknesses and learn to use both. I am a firm believer in giving grades not based on what others do but on the individuals ability and effort. Had this happened in school maybe I would have tried harder, I knew I was smarter than most, and I knew I could do better than most, but I didn't apply myself because my effort wasn't going to be noticed anymore or less than anyone else's.

Looking back on it, I regret that I didn't achieve more just for myself, but that is what happens when all kids are treated equally. It's what happens when all adults are treated equally, until they reach some form of self awareness and inner drive.

Yes, some kids develop it earlier than others. And some kids push the kids so that when they are out in the real world the kid as an adult have problems achieving, or with drugs, or with self esteem, or with intimacy or whatever because noone is there to push them anymore and they didn't learn to push themselves.

This is where self-help comes in. It's not whether what the author truly says is right or wrong..... IT'S WHAT THE READER BELIVES. If I read a book and it tells me I can achieve anything I desire and I truly believe what is written then I will achieve what I desire.

Did the book or technique help me? Perhaps, but more or less it was inside of me to begin with and the book or technique brought that out. So "self-help" is not BS it's just what it says....... you help yourself, but sometimes that stimulus or raised belief is needed and necessary.

01-06-2006, 01:47 AM	#20 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	There's a big difference between "self-help" and treating everyone equally or expecting people to be able to achieve the same goals. Self help teaches you that you can achieve whatever you want, and I firmly believe this. I watched my dad do it. You can be very aware of your weaknesses and strengths and play to your strengths and achieve anything. Treating everyone the same and believing everyone can achieve the same goals in the same amount of time is ridiculous, especially in school, where a child must be given the time to learn their strengths and weaknesses and learn to use both. I am a firm believer in giving grades not based on what others do but on the individuals ability and effort. Had this happened in school maybe I would have tried harder, I knew I was smarter than most, and I knew I could do better than most, but I didn't apply myself because my effort wasn't going to be noticed anymore or less than anyone else's. Looking back on it, I regret that I didn't achieve more just for myself, but that is what happens when all kids are treated equally. It's what happens when all adults are treated equally, until they reach some form of self awareness and inner drive. Yes, some kids develop it earlier than others. And some kids push the kids so that when they are out in the real world the kid as an adult have problems achieving, or with drugs, or with self esteem, or with intimacy or whatever because noone is there to push them anymore and they didn't learn to push themselves. This is where self-help comes in. It's not whether what the author truly says is right or wrong..... IT'S WHAT THE READER BELIVES. If I read a book and it tells me I can achieve anything I desire and I truly believe what is written then I will achieve what I desire. Did the book or technique help me? Perhaps, but more or less it was inside of me to begin with and the book or technique brought that out. So "self-help" is not BS it's just what it says....... you help yourself, but sometimes that stimulus or raised belief is needed and necessary. __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?" Last edited by pan6467; 01-06-2006 at 01:51 AM..