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Martian · 01-04-2006, 06:56 PM

First of all soma, allow me to give you credit for coming here for help. You are in dire need, clearly.

Her interest isn't waning, she's just not sure anymore. Turn the tables around. Imagine she was all flirty with you, making suggestive comments and doing things that make you think you're in, then without warning she stops all of that. Can you say mixed signals? She doesn't know what the hell you want, because where you were confident and outgoing before you've become all shy and withdrawn.

I don't understand why it's harder to flirt with her. You know she's interested. Your advances are welcome, her sister has given you testimony to the fact. Shouldn't that make it easier? I mean, if you know for a fact that she wants to strip you naked and ride you like a pony, I'd think it would be easier to obliquely suggest the same.

Don't make any promises and quit dicking around. Nike, my man. Just do it.

keyshawn - For what it's worth, I don't believe in all that 'friends zone' bullshit. The ladder theory is a misogynistic pile of shit devised by a man who needed a way to explain why he can't get any dates, when the reality is that the ladder theory does that for itself. It proves that he's an asshole who sees women more as caricatures than people with thoughts and feelings and unique personalities. As long as she's still single, you have a chance and it'll be better to make a move and know where you stand than to sit around kicking yourself in the ass. Worst case scenario, if she's not interested, I can almost guarantee it won't be awkward unless you make it awkward. Some of my best friends are either exes or girls that I showed an interest in. Once I knew where I stood I could put the crush behind me and move on with my life, allowing me to keep people whose companionship I valued as friends.

EDIT - And if you make a move, the situation will be awkward. Whether she decides she likes you or not, whether it all works out or she ends up kneeing you in the groin, it's going to be a bit uncomfortable. It always is. The so-called 'smooth operators' realize this, accept it and don't let it get in the way. Most of it is in your head anyway.

01-04-2006, 06:56 PM	#29 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	First of all soma, allow me to give you credit for coming here for help. You are in dire need, clearly. Her interest isn't waning, she's just not sure anymore. Turn the tables around. Imagine she was all flirty with you, making suggestive comments and doing things that make you think you're in, then without warning she stops all of that. Can you say mixed signals? She doesn't know what the hell you want, because where you were confident and outgoing before you've become all shy and withdrawn. I don't understand why it's harder to flirt with her. You know she's interested. Your advances are welcome, her sister has given you testimony to the fact. Shouldn't that make it easier? I mean, if you know for a fact that she wants to strip you naked and ride you like a pony, I'd think it would be easier to obliquely suggest the same. Don't make any promises and quit dicking around. Nike, my man. Just do it. keyshawn - For what it's worth, I don't believe in all that 'friends zone' bullshit. The ladder theory is a misogynistic pile of shit devised by a man who needed a way to explain why he can't get any dates, when the reality is that the ladder theory does that for itself. It proves that he's an asshole who sees women more as caricatures than people with thoughts and feelings and unique personalities. As long as she's still single, you have a chance and it'll be better to make a move and know where you stand than to sit around kicking yourself in the ass. Worst case scenario, if she's not interested, I can almost guarantee it won't be awkward unless you make it awkward. Some of my best friends are either exes or girls that I showed an interest in. Once I knew where I stood I could put the crush behind me and move on with my life, allowing me to keep people whose companionship I valued as friends. EDIT - And if you make a move, the situation will be awkward. Whether she decides she likes you or not, whether it all works out or she ends up kneeing you in the groin, it's going to be a bit uncomfortable. It always is. The so-called 'smooth operators' realize this, accept it and don't let it get in the way. Most of it is in your head anyway. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame