noodle

You don't believe me. Ever. Even about the stupidest shit. I am right sometimes. Pigs do not have sweat glands. Look it up for fuck's sake.

I don't know how to say it any differently than I have 800,000 ways before. I. Am. Not. Your. Ex-wife. I do not hold to the things that she believes in. I am not religious, I would never get purposefully pregnant to keep a man, I would never ever TPR a father just because I was pissed. I can't stand the way that she treated you. I am not sleeping around on you, nor have I ever, nor will I. I had a hard time being honest about what I enjoy in bed because of your issues with your ex-wife. I am not her. I am not one of the sterotypical females that you bitch about at work or to your friends. I am embarrassed at the effervescent, unintelligent, unimaginative image that you have been conditioned to perceive women as. And when you make those blanket statements to me or in front of me about women, I tend to get offended, even though when I call you on it you're usually so surprised, like I should know I'm not in there. I like to hold the door sometimes, too. I don't think it's misogynistic to smack me in the ass every once in awhile nor pull my hair during sex. I LIKE IT SOMETIMES, DUMBASS. But every day can be different. I also like those two hour foreplay marathons at times. Not everything works the same way every single freaking time.

I want to hold your face in my hands and convince you that I am not going to let you down or abandon you. But you pull back and away. You can't stand my tears... thought it's mostly frustration, you fool. You don't make me as sad any more. I respect your morals and values and I understand your twisted, fucked up childhood. I see what goes on in your head and I know where it comes from because that's been my training and conditioning. But I don't want to be your therapist. I want to just be us. Lovers, friends, fighters, two people. I'll be Me and you can be You. I wish you'd believe me when I echo almost everyone else around here... I love you, you big jackass.

Oh, and we don't have to split the bill every time. Take me out sometime, big man.

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