I'm tired of not trusting you, but I'm afraid to trust you. I love you, but I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again by you. I hate that you lied to me at the beginning to get me and lied for so long. I hate that you find it difficult to be loyal to me. I hate that you don't share the same values. I hate that you don't always take responsibility for your own actions and try to blame me in part for them. I hate that you like to keep secrets. I don't like that you don't want me to talk about our problems with other people. I want you every day. You drive me crazy. But, I'm getting too old. I'm getting too tired. I need reliability. I need comfort. I need a place to fall. I need not to worry about us. I want to be over the past. The bad past that lasted on and off for four years. I'm not willing to take anymore. I'm now so fragile a gentle blow can break me.
Happy Birthday Baby, I love you.
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