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In you not saying anything, that perpetuates her rudeness towards you and everyone else that obviously has become involved. I think there are ways to address the situation without being disrespectful yourself.
Talking to your parents seems okay as long as you aren't looking for them to choose sides. If it's used as a point of ventilation, I don't see any harm in it, but I can understand where they would rather not be involved. No parent should have to choose between any of their children.
I won't brand her an alcoholic but if her drinking has a tendency to turn her into a monster, she herself should excercise some tact and control. Talk to your brother about this. Talking to her may only make her more defensive and aggressive about the situation, or she might feel like she's being personally attacked.
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The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, especially if that means completely redefining the world you've come to know.
Don't look too hard, I'm right in front of you.
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